


True Love Cannot Die

by I_have_a_Mycroft_of_my_very_own



Series: Malec One Shots [13]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Magnus gives up his memories, Post Break Up, Post S3E18, they get back together settle down
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-22
Updated: 2019-04-22
Packaged: 2020-01-23 22:28:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,638
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18559168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_have_a_Mycroft_of_my_very_own/pseuds/I_have_a_Mycroft_of_my_very_own
Summary: In which Magnus and Alec are fools in love, no matter if one of them chooses to erase the other from their memories. OR In which true love cannot die





	True Love Cannot Die

**Author's Note:**

> Jem is unashamedly probably a lil OC because I haven't read the books in like almost a decade, and he's not really been around on the TV show... 
> 
> Also, I don't know if it's ever covered in canon, because again, almost a decade since I read them, but Magnus was the High Warlock of Brooklyn, not New York, which I'm taking to mean the other boroughs in NY have their own High Warlock's... or would normally...
> 
> If I actually trusted my muse to stick around, I'd write a full length fic, but my muse is fickle at best, so...

_It's the heart afraid of breaking,_  
_That never learns to dance._  
_It's the dream afraid of waking,_  
_That never takes the chance._  
_It's the one who won't be taken,_  
_Who cannot seem to give,_  
_And the soul afraid of dying,_  
_That never learns to live._  
~The Rose, Sol3 Mio

* * *

“How are you feeling?” the familiar voice questions, Magnus scowls at Jem and rubs at his head.

“Like I stupidly agreed to let you take a scalpel to my memories!” he retorts, sitting up with a groan. “Why did I do that again?”

“Well, you let yourself go and fall in love with a mortal, and not just any mortal, but a Shadowhunter.” Jem answers, an amused smile on his face.

“Why would I do something stupid like that? Also, I thought you Silent Brothers were supposed to be all stoic.” Magnus complains, still rubbing at his head. “Remind me… to never let you touch my memories, again, thanks.”

“Right. So, things you should know. You dated Alexander Lightwood for three months, he’s currently the Head of the New York Institute, so be careful, there. You’re no longer High Warlock of Brooklyn, a position you lost to Lorenzo Rey, who you also gave your loft to in a deal you didn’t explain. You recently lost your magic, but from what I’ve discovered, it’s slowly coming back, so congratulations on whatever you did to fix that. Catarina adopted a child, she’s a young warlock called Madzie, you saved her from Valentine, so you may want to figure out how to explain to her that you no longer remember her.”

“That’s not going to be fun.” Magnus sighs, shaking his head. “I’ll let Cat figure out how to go about that.”

“Probably a good idea. Additionally, Ragnor is dead.” Jem states, unable to figure out how else to break the news than just putting it out there.

“What?”

“He was killed by a demon about three months ago, around the time you and Alec began dating, which is why you don’t remember it.”

“Great. I-I’ll talk to Cat about that one, too.” Magnus says, with a determined look on his face. “And… Raphael?”

“Right, Raphael’s mortal now, I think he was taking a holiday in Hawaii, last I knew.”

“Excuse me?”

“You’ll have to ask him for details, Magnus.” Jem states, shaking his head. “I don’t know everything, just what you or others have told me. You know I spend most of my time in the City of Bones...”

“Fine. Is that all?” Magnus asks, raising an eyebrow, he grins at Jem’s nod. “Right, I’ve got to go and claim Manhattan.”

“What?”

“Manhattan lost its High Warlock within the same year I took over Brooklyn, it was determined I’d claim both. But the position has always been empty and open, since.” Magnus explains, with a little grin. “Since my magic is coming back, I’ll have no problems setting myself up and claiming the title.”

“The warlocks won’t have a problem with that?”

“Considering I doubt anyone actually told Lorenzo Manhattan is his problem? Yeah, I think they’d be relieved to have someone in their ball park again.” Magnus replies, shrugging his shoulders. “If not, I’m willing to campaign for it, honestly. I have nothing else to do.”

“And, the fact you’ll have to deal with your ex?”

“I don’t remember him, Jem. If either of us will have an issue with it, it will be him, and that’s not my problem.” Magnus answers, with a little sigh. “Besides, New York has been my home since before he was born, I’m not letting him run me out of town.”

“Alright, if that’s what you think is best, I’ll let you get on with things.”

“I owe you one.” Magnus assures, climbing to his feet, before holding his hand out, his eyes narrowing with effort before a portal forms, he grins and steps through.

* * *

Alec doesn’t really have time to ponder over the break up, what with the escalating situation with Clary and Jace, but even with that, he ensures he always has something to focus on, so he can’t spend the time thinking about Magnus. Wondering where he is, if his magic has come back yet, how he is. He does try to find Magnus the day after, to beg forgiveness and take back everything, but Magnus is nowhere to be found, so he lets himself be caught up in Shadowhunter Business. With how focused they all are on internal matters; it takes far longer than it should to discover that Manhattan has a new High Warlock for the first time in over a century, but no one is speaking their name.

It’s not until things are settled with Jace and Clary, that he finally gets the time to go and introduce himself to the new High Warlock in town, something not really required of him, but he’s found it is better to be aware of all the players before trying to make any moves. Which is how he finds himself standing outside the loft apartment of the newest High Warlock, having only been given the address in a trade he’s pretty sure benefited the warlock more than it benefited him, but the deal is done and he is here now.

When he knocks at the door, he doesn’t really know what to expect, has no information on the High Warlock other than they’ve been a High Warlock before and they’re well respected in their circles.  That’s the only thing he knows, so when the door swings open and Magnus is suddenly there, his brain stutters to a stop.

“Can I help you, Shadowhunter?” Magnus questions, looking Alec up and down.

“Magnus?” Alec asks, barely able to find his voice, staring in shock at his former lover that he hasn’t seen in at least three weeks.

“Yes, that would be me? How may I be of service to the Clave today?” Magnus questions, stepping aside and ushering Alec into the apartment, where he’s hit with a sense of déjà vu. Knows he hasn’t stepped into the loft in Brooklyn but is unable to tell that just by looking around the apartment itself. “Are you alright?”

“I don’t… how is this possible?” he mumbles, staring at everything, the loft how it used to be before all his little touches.

“You wouldn’t happen to be Alexander Lightwood, would you?” Magnus asks, with a raised eyebrow, the question so serious it does nothing to quell the unease that is growing within him.

“You don’t… remember?” Alec questions, forcing the words out, even as he feels like the world is closing in around him.

“No. I had my memories removed.” Magnus explains, gently guiding Alec to the couch and pushing him down into the cushions. “Do you often go and meet High Warlocks personally?” Magnus asks, conjuring a glass of water and pressing it in his shaking hands and sitting down beside him. “I heard you’re the Head of the Institute?”

“I… uh, yeah, I am. I prefer to know who I’m playing political games with.” Alec answers, looking down into the glass of water, the liquid threatening to spill in his trembling hands. “You-you had your memories removed?”

“Well, I imagine we had a very bad break up, so you’re probably lucky I’m being remotely civil with you right now.” Magnus answers, shrugging his shoulders. “I don’t actually know why I gave up my memories, since I gave my memories, you know?”

“Right, good point.” Alec replies, a reluctant smile pulling at his lips. “So, you’re the new High Warlock?”

“Yes, well, somehow, I lost out to Lorenzo Rey for Brooklyn, but New York is my home until I decide I need a change of scenery, and it’s not like the warlocks in Manhattan really gain anything from having a High Warlock who doesn’t even know they’re his responsibility.” Magnus answers, with a grin.

“That’s possibly because you didn’t tell him when he took over.” Alec points out, Magnus considers this before shrugging.

“I don’t remember, and I cannot be held accountable if he never bothered to ask me the exact details of his new job.” He reasonably points out, causing Alec to laugh.

“You didn’t leave him a memo or anything?” he asks, raising an eyebrow, Magnus snorts.

“Why would I do that when he and I are both capable of opening our mouths and communicating like normal adults?” Magnus questions, sounding genuinely confused. Alec smiles, even though pain blossoms in his chest, he hadn’t realized he’d have to truly give up Magnus when he agreed to Asmodeus’ terms. “Besides, his loss is my gain.”

“Hmm, now I see why the pair of you hate each other.” Alec admits, sighing heavily and shaking his head.

“We do not hate each other.” Magnus argues, crossing his arms over his chest. “We have a friendly rivalry.”

“Sure, I’ll believe that when I see it.”

“I assure you, we’re professionals. Speaking of, was there really nothing else you needed? Because I do actually have things to get on with?” Magnus asks, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh, right! Yeah, of course. I’ll just get out of your hair.” Alec exclaims getting to his feet and putting the cup down on the table. “It was… it was really good seeing you.” Alec says, while Magnus smiles at him, Alec feels that stab through his heart again.

“Well, it was interesting meeting you, be sure to let me know if there is anything the warlocks of Manhattan can do for the Clave.” Magnus assures him, walking him to the door.

“Right, of course. I guess I’ll see you around.” Alec says, hesitating, before sighing heavily. “Bye, Magnus.” He mumbles, before all but fleeing the loft, fumbling for his cellphone as he goes.

“Izzy! What are you supposed to do when your boyfriend completely erases the entire three months you spent dating each other and is now the High Warlock of the borough you both live in?” he asks, when Izzy answers the phone, her silence doesn’t fill him with happiness.

“You get drunk and find someone to have a rebound with.” Izzy finally says, Alec considers her advice carefully before making up his mind not to do that.

“Any other options?” he pleads, as he starts to make his way back to the Institute. “Izzy, it’s me we are talking about!”

“Sorry, big brother. Got nothing. Unless you’re going to try and win Magnus back, you’ll just have to suck it up and deal.”

“Great!”

* * *

Magnus shuts the door behind Alec, and then spins, to lean back against it, breathing in deeply.

“That boy is dangerous!” he exclaims, pressing his hand over his chest, he considers his options, since he really truly should be getting on with work, but knows already his thoughts will only go in circles. What good is erasing his memories of Alexander if simply meeting him is his undoing once again? Perhaps he should have taken Jem’s concerns more seriously.

He takes a breath in and goes to sit on the couch, panic dialing Cat as he goes.

“Magnus?”

“I met Alexander!” he exclaims, throwing himself down on the couch and staring at the ceiling. “He’s dangerous, Cat!”

“You fell in love with him once, love. Why did you think erasing him would protect you from falling in love with him again?” Cat asks, sounding amused and exasperated all at the same time.

“Because I’m a fool!” Magnus whines, scowling when Cat laughs at him. “You’re supposed to be supporting me, Cat!”

“Oh, I am, baby, but there’s no helping stupid. The pair of you are so ridiculously gone on each other, it’s actually annoying. You don’t remember him, but you meet him once and you’re already falling. Have you considered the fact that he’s just your one?”

“But he broke up with me.” Magnus replies, frowning, he glances up when a portal forms beside him and Cat appears, he lets his arm fall away from his ear, falling to the floor, dropping the phone on the ground as the portal dissipates.

“Didn’t George break up with you every day of your time together?” Cat asks, nudging him, until he sits up, so she can squeeze onto the couch and then guide his head back down into her lap, to play with his hair.

“Well, George was at war, he figured I deserved better than that.” Magnus answers, closing his eyes and relaxing into Cat’s touch.

“Right, is Alec not at war?” Cat questions, sounding amused. “Shadowhunters don’t normally live long lives, Magnus, plus with your father on the loose…”

“Did we ever figure out how he got free?” Magnus asks, while he ponders Cat’s words.

“We think Vera created a doorway for him, but we can’t be sure. Don’t change the subject.” Cat scolds, Magnus just grins.

“So, you think Alexander broke up with me, because he was, what? Trying to save me from his early death?” He questions, opening his eyes to frown up at her, she rolls her eyes in response.

“I don’t know, you’d have to ask him. What I’m saying, and you’re wilfully ignoring, is the fact that people we love often think they’re doing us a favour, even when they break our hearts.”

“It’s stupid.” Magnus grumbles, closing his eyes again and making a face. “Love is stupid.”

“You say that every time, yet you go and fall in love again.” Cat points out, laughing at the pout Magnus gives her. “You guys went through some really tough times, Magnus. He nearly died, you nearly died, it was a bad time all around. Perhaps he got scared, you’re his first relationship, after all.”

“Your kidding?” Magnus exclaims, sitting up suddenly. “But he’s… are you serious?”

“Let’s put it this way, the first time you kissed was at the wedding he agreed to in order to please his parents. He and his bride agreed their marriage made the most sense to satisfy their duty to the Clave. There was no love to be had between them.” Cat answers, with a shrug of her shoulders. “I’m pretty sure you’re the first thing he allowed himself to have that he knew his parents and the Clave would begrudge him.”

“He broke up with me, Cat. If I pursue him, how can I even know he’ll give in?” Magnus asks, shifting so he’s lying back in her lap again. “What was the point of erasing my memories if I just want to go back to him?”

“Well, I don’t think you were thinking straight after he broke up with you, love. So, erasing your memories has given you the chance to decide if you want to try again with him, or if you’d rather have a fresh start. You’ve tied yourself to Manhattan, now, so you can’t leave for at least another decade.”

“Should you be encouraging me to go and possibly break my heart again?” Magnus asks, an amused smile on his lips.

“I want you to be happy, if you’ve decided _twice_ that Alexander is who you need to be happy, who am I to discourage you?” Cat replies, Magnus can just imagine the smile on her face.

“Perhaps I’ll seek him out.” Magnus answers, already knowing he’s going to do it.

“Good luck.”

* * *

“Izzy!” Alec exclaims, frantically grabbing hold of his sister’s arms and shaking her. “Magnus won’t stop fire messaging me!”

“By the Angel, you two are ridiculous.” Isabelle exclaims, pulling free of Alec’s grip and rubbing her head, at the headache she can feel building. “Magnus low-key stalked you until your wedding with Lydia, remember?”

“Right?”

“Right, now he’s got no memories of your time together, but you went and met him yesterday.”

“Right?” Alec asks again, not at all following where his sister is going with this.

“Alec!” Izzy exclaims, whacking him on the arm. “Magnus fell head over heels for you the moment he laid eyes on you! You went and ‘introduced’ yourself to him, yesterday, and now he’s repeating the same pattern he had when he _first_ met you? Idiot, he’s fallen head over heels for you, _again._ ” She points out, throwing her hands up in despair.

“But he erased me. Why would he-?”

“You can’t control love, Alec. How about the pair of you do me a favour, go find the Seelie Queen and get her to do her whole ‘you can’t leave until you have the kiss your heart desires’ shtick? I’ll even let Meliorn know to expect you.”

“Izzy!”

“Oh, just tell the man you’ll go on a date with him. You’re miserable, and if he remembered you, he’d be miserable to. He doesn’t know that you broke up with him so he’d get his magic back, he can’t know that. So, as long as you don’t tell him, you won’t breach Asmodeus terms.”

“What?”

“Alec, for god’s sake. Asmodeus told you break up with Magnus, he didn’t tell you it had to be forever. He probably implied it, probably thought you’d think that, but did he ever actually say those words?” Izzy asks, crossing her arms over her chest.

“No.” Alec admits, thinking over the entire conversation with Asmodeus. “But he’d expect it.”

“Tough. If he didn’t specify it in the deal, you’re not breaching the agreement and Asmodeus knows that. Go and speak with Magnus before I haul you on the mats and kick your ass!”

“I’m going! I’m going!” he mutters, frowning. “Do you really think-?”

“So help me, Alexander Gideon Lightwood!“

“I’ll just be going…” Alec exclaims, fleeing Izzy’s domain as quickly as his legs will carry him. He goes out into the park and looks up at the night sky above him, biting his lip as he tries to make up his mind, eventually determining that Izzy is correct. Asmodeus demanded he end his relationship with Magnus, he did not demand he end it for good, plus, with Magnus’ memories gone, it would be a totally new relationship, different than the old one. With this in mind, he fire messages Magnus.

* * *

Magnus has just finished arguing with his father, and subsequently banishing his father back to Edom, when a fire message appears in the air beside him. He huffs as he plucks it from the air.

_Hunter’s Moon, 9 O’clock. Don’t be late. ~ Alec_

He frowns at the message, before gasping as he realizes exactly what this message is. He’d asked earlier in the day to meet with Alec, and hadn’t honestly expected to have any reply, until now. He looks at the clock, notes it’s already eight, and hurries to throw himself through the shower to wash off the stench of Edom, and the ashes of the hellfire, then he carefully goes through his outfits, before doing up his make-up and portalling away after a quick glance at the clock tells him it’s already fifteen minutes to nine.

Maia frowns at him when she sees him but slides a martini across to him all the same, he smiles at her and goes to claim a booth. He sits there, staring at the table top and running his finger around the rim of his glass, lost in thought until someone slides into the seat across from him and he startles looking up, a smile involuntarily pulled from his lips.

“Alexander.” He greets, letting his eyes roam over the Shadowhunter. “I’m glad you agreed to meet.”

“I’m glad you came.” Alec answers, with such a beautiful smile it takes Magnus’ breath away.

“I know we broke up, and I know I erased my memories of our time together, but I want…” he pauses, trailing off and shaking his head. “You’re all I can think about.”

“I know.” Alec replies, his smile turning shy, as the Shadowhunter looks away from him. “This is how things went before, before we got together.”

“Perhaps I’m doomed to fall in love with you, always?” Magnus points out with a grin, Alec snorts and rolls his eyes.

“Yeah.” He agrees, sighing heavily. “So, I wanted to undo our break-up about ten minutes after it happened, but I didn’t know how to face you again, and when I worked up the courage the next day, you’d disappeared, seemingly off the face of the earth.”

“I think I was already with Jem, having my memories removed.” Magnus answers, uncertainly. “Why did you break up with me?”

“I-I thought I was doing the right thing for you.” Alec answers, reaching across the table to take Magnus’ hand into his own, Magnus lets him and doesn’t even consider pulling away. “You deserve more than me, but I want to be selfish for once.” Alec explains, squeezing his hand. “You once told me that I’d blow up the ground I stand on to make something right, I thought breaking up with you was right, because I want you to be happy and one day I’m going to die, if things keep going the way they are, I’ll probably be dead real soon. I didn’t want you to give up everything, for me, when I’m going be ashes within fifty, sixty years, if I’m lucky. But I want… I want to be selfish.”

“Then be selfish.” Magnus states, resting his free hand over their joint ones. “If you were willing to have forever with me, there are ways to make you immortal, but that’s a conversation for the future us to have together. I don’t remember you, Alec. What I feel for you, it’s genuine, but it’s nothing compared to what we probably had between us. I can’t get my memories back, one day they might come back to me on their own, but I have no control over that. Can you accept that?”

“I don’t think I have a choice.” Alec admits, looking up to meet Magnus’ eyes. “I love you. I know where you stand, you’ve only just met me. But I love you. I’ve… I’ve always loved you. We can treat this like… you’ve had amnesia. I’ll just… have to tell you about things from before, and I won’t ask for more than you’re willing to give.”

“Okay.” Magnus says, with a grin. “Why don’t you tell me all about the things I can’t recall?”

“Gladly!” Alec agrees, immediately, and launches straight into the story of the time they went to Tokyo, Magnus listening intently, falling just a little bit more in love with Alec with every word he says, with every story he tells. Alec’s love for him is like another person in the room with them, it helps Magnus to understand why he was so out of it his first thought after the break up was to erase it all. From the stories, Magnus can tell that he loved Alec just as much as the Shadowhunter loves him and wants that love back, so when he feels the lock around his heart snap and break away, he doesn’t fight it. Alec’s already unlocked his heart once, there’s no point fighting it a second time, when it’s clear Alec already holds his heart in his hands, but he will be cautious, in a way he thinks past him wasn’t. Letting someone break your heart once is careless but understandable, letting someone break your heart twice is foolish and unforgivable, and he refuses to allow that to happen.

* * *

Things don’t suddenly go back to the way they were, Magnus doesn’t suddenly go on one date with Alec and remember everything. It’s slow. Despite the fact Magnus loves to hear about their first kiss, their second-first kiss doesn’t happen until they’re on date number three, standing in the ashes of vanquished demons and both a little too high on adrenaline. The second-first time they go to bed together, it’s after date number seven, when Magnus’ is jumpy and scared from a surprise attack at Pandemonium and doesn’t want to be alone, they don’t have sex, they just hold each other close until sleep claims them. The second-first time they have sex, it’s date number eight, where Magnus is experimenting with new potions and accidentally doses the both of them with lust, the morning after hangover is a nightmare, but the morning after sex is amazing.

Alec doesn’t broach the topic of moving in, not even when their three-month anniversary has come and gone. The Lightwood family ring sits ignored in the drawer in his office, and he refuses to take it out and look at it until after their four-month anniversary. Where he wakes up in Magnus’ arms and Magnus is the one who asks if Alec will move in. From then, Alec starts looking at the Lightwood ring, tries to work up the courage, but can’t seem to find it, so when they’re at their sixth month anniversary, he’s caught totally off guard when it is Magnus down on one knee, offering him a ring, not the other way around, he says yes, of course, he does.

They marry in the park outside the Institute, Magnus’ stubbornly refusing to marry inside the Institute, where’s he’s heard he himself crashed Alec’s first wedding, he doesn't want the bad luck, but he compromises and agrees to the park, to satisfy the Clave. They didn’t really plan out their honeymoon, and so spend the time portalling wherever the fancy takes them, until their duties call them home.

When the question of immortality comes up again, as it has perhaps a dozen times since their second go, Alec finally agrees that when he’s ready, he’ll go and be turned into a vampire. Magnus offers to find other ways, but Alec is stubborn, Magnus looks anyway. When the time comes, Alec gracefully hands over the Institute to Izzy, despite her violent and loud protests to the contrary, then he takes himself off to the nearest, friendly vampire to get himself turned. Magnus, knowing the rules, stays away until after Alec’s first feeding, until after Alec’s been taught the basics of his new life. Then Magnus sweeps him up, portals him away, and refuses to let him leave their loft for a week, until Jace almost knocks down their door, hands over two vials of blood and announces that he and Clary are off the hook for any sort of presents until their marble anniversary at the very least. Alec and Magnus both are confused by this, until Alec drinks the blood and finds out, on accident the next morning, that he’s become a Daylighter. Magnus might pay this back by showering Clary and Jace with all sorts of weird and wonderful presents until they stage an intervention.

When Magnus’ memories eventually come back, it is not sudden, and neither he nor Alec realize, until Alec is telling him about their first-first kiss, and Magnus remembers it, vividly. Remembers the talk with Ragnor’s ghost that had preceded it, remembers the scandal for Alec that had immediately followed. When he remembers the break up, he suddenly understands exactly why Alec broke up with him, exactly why his magic had come back, when Cat, at least, had assured him she hadn’t been sure it ever would. Magnus doesn’t confront Alec about it, he sends himself to Edom and confronts his father, instead. Promises his father that if he takes Magnus’ magic away, he’ll dedicate himself to ensuring Asmodeus never gets out of Edom and therefore, never meets any of his grandchildren or great grandchildren. Asmodeus gracefully admits defeat, they never speak of it again.

And so, they live happily ever after.

* * *

  _When the night has been too lonely,_  
_And the road has been too long,_  
_And you think that love is only,_  
_For the lucky and the strong._  
_Just remember in the winter,_  
_Far beneath the bitter snow,_  
_Lies the seed that with the sun's love,_  
_In the spring becomes the rose._  
_~The Rose, Sol3 Mio_

**Author's Note:**

> Forgot to include them adopting kids1!!!! ! Knew there was something I was forgetting, might add this in later!


End file.
